The Soft Way
This podcast is about creating change.
Not through force, pressure, or following a long list of ‘should’s.
But through the ongoing practice of returning to yourself. Knowing yourself. And allowing more of who you are to find expression in your life.
Join Rachael, meditation teacher and coach, for insights, explorations, and moments of presence to uncover what it means to create your life The Soft Way.
The Soft Way
Finding Your Ground Again
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When we get caught up in thinking, planning, doing and reaching for things outside ourselves, it can be surprisingly easy to slip back into self-doubt and worry.
In this episode, I share some reflections from my own experience and explore what it can mean to reconnect with the quieter, more spacious awareness beneath all the activity.
The second half of the episode is a guided practice to help you step out of the thinking, worrying, doing mind and reconnect with the grounded awareness that's always there.
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Something to reflect on...
Where in your life have you been caught in a momentum of doing, thinking or grasping? What might change if you allowed yourself to dip back into spacious presence more often?
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Thanks for listening!
🪞 Want to go deeper?
FREE VISUALISATION
Journey ‘Into Deep Trust’ to connect with an internal source of support and guidance as you move forward on your path. Begin here: https://rachaelebanksgold.myflodesk.com/intodeeptrust
WORKING TOGETHER
If you want a space to connect with more of who you are and move towards what lights you up, I offer 1:1 depth coaching. Find out more: https://www.rachaelebanksgold.com/working-together
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Thank you!
Hello. Warm welcome back to the soft way. It's been a little while since I've been on this podcast. I took a little break, kind of unexpected. My intention is to be here weekly, but I needed to prioritize other things. I've been wrapping up some training and doing some creative things and which I will be sharing with you. And yeah, I just had to kind of uh press pause for a moment, but I am back. And yeah, today's podcast is about pointing us back to our essence essentially. And this idea has emerged through my own experience, which is just how how I create episodes is through my own kind of noticings and awarenesses and insights and stuff. So a few weeks ago I was just feeling this like real surge of energy and clarity and purpose and and also kind of a win in that I was I found myself relating to creative work in a new way. Um in a way that was less about kind of getting something done, but also I was really sensing a joy and a playful energy, and that felt really good and really big for me. So yeah, there's been this sense of momentum building, but what I've also noticed is that in the busyness of like channeling the energy that I'm feeling into certain tasks, my mind has actually been quite active, you know. There's just been this like um a lot of thinking and refining and reflecting and planning that feels good, but then there's also this kind of momentum of doing, of mental doing, as well as like doing in the physical world, and I've noticed I've been a bit more like um filling in the gaps when there's space in the day with another YouTube video or checking my email again or whatever it might be, and so there's been this kind of attachment, you know, and I do find the mind is quite funny like that in that we can get on a positive loop, and that can end up leading us to maybe a negative loop because of the way it sort of entices us into thinking, you know. So you might be like thinking about something positive, something that's happening that's really exciting, or something that you're gonna be doing, and then you might find yourself just sort of staying in your mind a lot of the time. And there can be this sense of attachment, like attaching to thoughts, to ideas, to plans, to um information, or you know, this sense of like let's keep this momentum up. And the more we well, what I have noticed in myself is the more I engage in this sort of attaching, this doing, this busy, busy, busy without the sort of balance of quiet, of stillness, of non-doing, the more I find that my confidence and my energy starts to get chipped away again. Because well, one, the mind can only stay positive for so long before it loops back into some some sort of negative commentary, and then also I feel like when we are constantly looking outside of ourselves, there is this, it's almost like we're driven by fear, really, like this sense of I don't know if I'm enough, or I don't know if things are gonna be okay, and so I'm reaching outside of myself to try and make myself feel better. So we're kind of perpetuating this message to ourselves in a very like in a subtle way that I'm not sure about myself, basically. I'm not sure. So the good thing is that I notice this, you know. Whenever we notice these things, we can judge ourselves, but truth be told, noticing is where it all gets to change, and so I'm reminded that life is simpler, smoother, flows more freely when I allow myself that balance, those moments of quiet, those periods of non-doing, non-striving, of just pure awareness. And that can be in just a few seconds of re-engaging with that part of us, and that part is the part that is quietly trusting, the part that isn't pulled from one end to another. There's this kind of stability, and it's always there, like even in moments when we're flapping about, it's still there. It's just a matter of like reconnecting to it. And we can reconnect to this this space, this awareness, where we all know through meditation, through silence, stillness, whether that be formal meditation, sitting in lotus position, and you know, just resting in awareness, or while we're washing up, while we're walking in the park, while we're looking outside the window. So we can connect to this part through those moments of quiet and always knowing that like there's gonna be a like a flow of thoughts coming in, coming out, distractions here and there, but just continuing to notice and gently let go. I'm enough, I'm okay, I'm always going to be okay. You know, so we're sending this different quality of message to ourselves very subtly, subtly and powerfully by taking these moments of of stillness. Another way to connect to this awareness is through feeling. And it doesn't have to be the sparkling, glittering feelings of joy. You know, yes, I've spoken before about savouring, so this is a really powerful practice of intentionally taking in, like absorbing appreciation, or let's say you're witnessing something beautiful or a moment of connection. So we can connect to this kind of more expansive part of us by really taking in those feelings, like not letting them just drift on by, but really just a few seconds, maybe even a minute, of letting it truly seep in and be enjoyed and appreciated, and remembering that this is what life can feel like. But I also want to just say that, and I think I've mentioned this in a previous episode around like feelings that are a bit harder, like those more jagged feelings like loneliness or maybe despair, even. Dare I go that far? Um, you know, it might be hard to even name the feeling, but there might be something that's kind of clinging to us as we are, you know, in a particular period of life, or you know, during a particular week, there might be this sort of theme of a feeling that has a story attached to it, and it's kind of just there and sort of eating away at you. And in response to those stories related to that feeling, we can like try and grab on to something to distract or to fix, um, to provide some level of comfort. What I'm inviting you to do is just notice that we can experience the grounded part of us through stillness, like just through meditation, but we can also do it just through feeling whatever it is that we're feeling fully, like just giving it space. And the third way of connecting is through dialogue, so it could be out loud, you know, stating something, it could be in your journal or your imagination. So there are different ways that we can connect to this part, the part that knows that you are okay, and not only okay, but you are equipped and capable of expanding your life, your experience in ways that feel really good to you. So, that all said, bringing it back to you. Have you been noticing some doing momentum of your own lately? Attachments to things outside of you. And by the way, I just wanna note that when I speak about attachments, looking for things to comfort us, etc., I'm not saying that we should never do that. It's more about what I noticed in myself was the sort of perpetual doing of that where it was unbalanced, you know. So have you noticed that that there's this kind of incessant grasping? And maybe also noticing that actually the more you grasp, the more needy you actually feel. Like underneath it, maybe you can maybe certain things do give you a a brief moment of relief, but then underneath it it's like the need to grasp just sort of grows the more you grasp. So if you have noticed that, then welcome to the club. And let's just use this as an opportunity to tune into the part that doesn't need to grasp. The part that knows that you are good, you are capable, and the things that you desire for yourself for your life are your destiny. So it's just take a moment to settle, getting into a comfortable position, or just maybe dropping whatever it is that you are doing if that's possible. Or maybe just intending to listen in a little more deeply, even if you can't break away from a a different activity completely. Closing your eyes if that's comfortable, if you're able to. And if not, again, just setting the intention to tune in to be really present right now. Maybe noticing your breath. Maybe noticing tension in your body, in your face. And just softening as you breathe. I invite you now to bring to mind the ways that you usually think about yourself. The labels you carry, the roles that you play, the characteristics, positive or negative, that you tend to identify with.
SPEAKER_01No need to grasp.
SPEAKER_00That lies beneath all the activity. The awareness that could notice the thinking, the planning, the wanting, the uncertainty. Without being any of those things. Attaching to something you've been trying to work out or control or make happen. And you can invite it into whatever you're creating, whatever you're enjoying, and also whatever you're finding difficult. Okay. So before I close, just a little invitation. If you do want to go further and connect more deeply with the part of you that goes beyond the thinking, worrying, doing mind, I've created an 18-minute visualization and also a 20-minute integration video that's called Into Deep Trust, and it's free, and the link is below, so please go ahead and register and you'll receive the visualization and the integration video immediately. But that is it for now. I'm glad to be back and look forward to continuing this conversation and this exploration of essentially connecting to ourselves, the deeper part of ourselves, and bringing this more and more into our lived experience, so that we can enjoy this life being all that we are. I'll speak to you very soon. Take care.