The Lessons That Keep Returning

As we approach the middle of the year, this can be a natural time to pause and reflect. 

Not just in terms of what's happened on the outside, but of the inner changes we've been led to through the challenges, joys, and ordinary moments of daily life.

This episode is an opportunity to revisit some of the central themes we've explored on the podcast so far - like presence, giving space to our feelings, self-trust, and learning to meet life with curiosity rather than resistance.

I share a few reflections from my own journey through the first half of the year, and invite you to consider what this season has been asking of you.

✧ Questions to Ponder

• What feels more true now than it did six months ago?

• What has genuinely nourished me lately?

• What would it look like to move through the second half of the year with more self-trust?

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Thanks for listening! 

🪞 Want to go deeper?  

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If you want a space to connect with more of who you are and move towards what lights you up, I offer 1:1 depth coaching. Find out more: https://www.rachaelebanksgold.com/working-together

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:02

Your soul craves something more. Your heart wants joy, not busyness. You're done with all the shits and ready to reconnect with what truly nourishes you. Welcome, I'm Rachel, and this is the Soft Way Podcast. A space to quiet the noise, release the pressure, and listen to the voice within you that's always known your truth. Join me for soulful practical insights to help you ground into presence, connect with your higher self, and let this version of you lead your life with playfulness and gentle power. And without the pressure to figure it all out. Because you are supported. Life is with you. So come on home. So we are edging very close to June, and so I've been reflecting on the first half of this year. Personally, there've been a lot of like um intense emotions, some unexpected, unpleasant things, also at the same time, some quietly, quite delightful moments, you know, just simple life pleasures but felt very deeply. Um, and also some moments of like energetic and emotional release, like a feeling of understanding something at a deeper level or relating to something in a way that just feels really freeing, and even in the the messiness, the discomfort, the uncertainty, one these things are appearing um like on top of a ground of being guided, a ground of hope, of capacity, a ground of vision and possibility, and also these elements that aren't necessarily what we've ordered are inviting us into a deeper and freer experience of ourselves. So on that note, I do have a few reflections to share, and not from the lens of what's happening to me this year, more so what life is inviting me to step into and what life is reinforcing in me, what life is helping me to know at a deep level. So my intention is that some of these reflections will resonate, maybe they'll maybe they'll help to affirm things that you've been noticing in yourself in your own life, or maybe they just are something that feels interesting to you, that feels like it could be true, and maybe helps you to look at things differently. So the first thing I want to say is it's becoming very obvious to me that coming back to center is still and always will be paramount, like no matter what is going on, the ability to come back to center, and not so much the ability because it's something that we can all do, it's not that hard, it's more about remembering to do it, we forget to do it, and maybe you're like me, and you find that it's quite easy to get pulled into reactivity and feeling like triggered by things. And so the question is: can we help ourselves to remember to keep letting go and to keep coming back to center? It's easy to forget, to be mindful, to be present, to let go, and equally there are ways that we can build this into our lives in order to create a habit of it and to start to feel that actually the part of me who is centered, the part of me who let lets things go more easily, who is less attached, starts to grow, starts to anchor more deeply in me, in my experience. So on that note, finding micro ways to come back to the present during your normal day can be really, really powerful. It might just be listening to water flowing out of the tap as you wash up or wash your hands or make a tea. Could be tracking the sensations that are going on in your body as you stretch, as you walk, could be soaking in a beautiful view with your entire body, so not just looking at it, but feeling it in your entire body. Like, how is my body receiving this view? How am I feeling emotionally? What shifts are happening inside me as I witness this, as I take it in. Okay, so there are lots of different ways that we can come back to the present. We don't need to be solidly present all day, and it's not gonna happen, like our brains don't work like that. We're not going to be fully present the entire day, we're gonna get sucked into things from here, there, and everywhere. But we can dance in and out of the present innumerable times, and that is really what helps, you know, because we have to engage with things, we have to think about stuff, we've got to speak to people, we've got to take certain actions, and yeah, we are gonna have moments where we get sucked into our minds, but the point is we can keep coming back, keep returning in any way that we can, just for a few seconds or more, obviously, if you can, um, multiple times a day. So that's kind of like self-care 101, and it's foundational and it's never gonna not be important. So that was the first point, and the second one is about our feelings. So we're gonna feel some stuff as we as we navigate this crazy life, right? We're gonna feel a whole range of emotions, and we can expend a lot of energy trying to paper over those emotions or to solve the discomfort that we're feeling, but all we're doing is getting further and further away from ourselves, away from a feeling of empowerment, a feeling of wholeness, and feeling of I'm okay. And I can't state this enough that the willingness to feel our emotions is the very thing that allows us to shift into a calmer emotional state, a feeling of being at ease in ourselves, a feeling of I'm okay, often it is on the other side of the willingness to feel whatever is present, and I have personally experienced this in many ways, and one of the ways is through loneliness. So at various stages of my life, especially like in my young adulthood, I felt very alone, and feelings of loneliness have accompanied me. I think they're just part of my journey, and I've noticed that even the feeling of loneliness can lead to me actually feeling more alive and more whole than ever if I allow it. If I allow it, so feeling it, allowing it to be part of my experience, not in my sense of self, but in my present moment experience, which was surprising when I when I discovered that, I was like, wow, like it's when I don't when I'm judging it and when I'm tensing up around it, that's when it doesn't feel good, that's when I'm locked in the stories about what this loneliness means. But when I fully am with it, it just transforms into something else. So maybe that's something you can experiment with, and that kind of links to the next part, which is that everything that you are facing at this particular moment is part of your journey. I'll say that again. Everything that you're facing this particular moment in time, so things that are good, things that feel challenging, things that feel unjust, things that feel exciting, everything is part of your journey, especially the hard bits, especially the fear, the jealousy, the things that are breaking. It's not to say that you should be jumping up and down dancing. But the invitation is to stay open and know that this is not wrong. Know that this is not a sign that you were wrong, it's just part of your unique journey. Now, I'll just state that obviously if you're in an abusive situation, that that's not something that you're meant to just kind of take and and accept. So I don't I'm sure I don't actually need to say that, but just in case I don't want that to be misconstrued. But I'm talking about the things that are happening, that are occurring, that feel uncomfortable, that aren't easily fixable or don't appear to be right now, are part of your journey. So instead of getting caught up in the story of wrongness, maybe we can try asking gentle questions from a place of curiosity. Like, what wants to be expressed within me? What wants to be embodied more? Or what do I need right now? What do I need? That's always a good question. Like, I was looking through my journal the other day, and um there was one from like a few months ago, and I had this like really crap day or week or whatever, and I was just feeling so like low. And basically, the whole first page of this entry was just me sort of moaning, really. And at the end of it, I just wrote, What do I need? and immediately the answer was space. I need space, and so I was able to to honour that need, you know, in in whatever way I did that day, I can't remember, but it felt it felt like there was a little glimmer, you know, a glimmer of something, something more than just drudgery, because I'd turned toward what I needed and acknowledged that there was a need, and actually a need that I could honour in in my own way. And speaking of honouring, my next um invitation or the invitation of life, inviting me to do, and maybe inviting you to do, is to honour the part of you who sees beyond the current reality. Because there's something in you that knows that there is more who believes in what's possible, who trusts that their desires are sacred. So honour that part. What you see, what you feel, what you desire beyond what is currently here isn't trying to make you feel bad about what's currently here, what's not here yet, should I say? It's perspective, it's energy. It's telling you that beneath the surface of what's visible right now, there is more. So, what is the something more that you can sense is yours simply because you desire it? So just take a moment here to tune in. So feel your body. Feel your breath. Let go of any tension. What is the something more than you can sense is yours because you desire it. It's real. It's real and it's guiding you. Okay, so honouring the part of you who sees beyond the current reality. Not attaching to the desire, not lamenting all the aspects of your life that don't match up with the vision, but just honouring the the truth of it and the realness of it. Because at some point you're gonna turn around and be thankful that that was in you, that you noticed that, that you felt it, that you saw it, and that you you were willing to say yes to it. So I spoke about the part of you who sees beyond the current reality, and that's also linked to the next point, which is feeding essentially the other parts of you that normally maybe don't get fed. So knowing that there is more of you to feed than the part that normally gets fed. So I won't go into too much detail on subpersonalities or parts or archetypes. I will definitely go over that stuff in a future episode. But basically, there are multiple parts of us, and I personally have been on this journey recently of becoming aware, more and more aware of different parts of me, and specifically, I'm aware of the part of me who loves order and who loves getting stuff done, and who's a bit of a perfectionist, and that part of me gets fed every day, in other words, I listen to and act with that part of me every day, pretty much, and I'm grateful to that part, it gets stuff done, stuff that I want to do, and stuff that I just have to do, and it helps me do things to a certain standard, but there's also other parts of me, so parts that want pleasure, parts that want beauty, another part of me who wants to be silly and funny and play, and those parts get fed sometimes. They don't get fed every day, or should I say, up until recently, they haven't been getting fed every day. And yeah, when I noticed this, I I was actually kind of annoyed. I was annoyed for those parts. I was like, how dare I just feed the one who, you know, the productive one, the the doer, the organizer, the reflector. What about the one that just wants to do stuff for the fun of it? You know, and I've been really intentional at listening to that part of me more, and it feels good. I realized at one point, like, oh, this is why life has just been feeling really dry. Like I had this sense of life just felt so dry, and I realized that that was part of the reason that I wasn't feeding that part of me, and so I've been more intentional about doing that, and it feels really good. Like I feel, yeah, I feel kind of like a plant that's been watered. So I'm curious and inviting you to be curious about the parts of you. So what are the parts of you that get fed every day at this moment in time? And what are the parts that maybe don't get so fed? So just opening up to what may be within you that wants to be acknowledged, that wants to get a go at being in the driver's seat for once. And just seeing, are there any small ways that you could do that? You know, for example, for me it's taking my time more. So instead of rushing around town getting shit done, deciding to walk through the park and go slowly, like really slow down, stop when I see something beautiful instead of continuing to walk, just stop and drink it in. So being creative and also not putting too much pressure on yourself to like turn into the opposite overnight. It's about balance, and um, there's utility in all the different parts of us, it's just a case of like in what situations and you know, where is their balance? Where am I over doing this part and under doing the other part? As I said, I'll definitely speak about this in a future episode in depth because it's really fun. This um idea of subpersonalities. Um but anyway, we are nearing the end of today's episode, and I have one more point that I wanted to share, and it's the biggest one actually so far this year. The biggest kind of lesson that has been really impactful, and it's that space is rich and it's safe to slow down. Space is rich and it's safe to slow down. This is underlying assumption that if we get quick results, we are winning, and if things take a while. We're failing. So we rush. We pressure ourselves. We get frustrated with ourselves. Or we overfill our schedule. We say yes to things that actually we don't really want to do. There's what I call fear-based busyness. Doing stuff or doing stuff with a certain urgency coming from this sense of if I don't do it or if I don't do it quickly enough, I'm not enough. And so the more we engage with that, with this rushing, with this filling our time, with this pressure, it's like reinforcing this idea: like, I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm not enough. And when I slow down internally, and also like physically, practically, and when I allow space, instead of I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm not enough, I'm hearing, I'm not hearing anything. I'm just noticing that I feel good, that I'm connected to myself, that I am back in the present moment, and my body is calm, my mind is calm, and anything that wanted to be known, any wisdom, any clarity bubbles up into my awareness, and I'm available to notice it, to receive it. So my invitation to you is to consider where you are pressuring yourself, where you are rushing, where you are telling yourself you're behind or you're late or hurry up. Again, it could be an internal thing, or it could be just practically, maybe you're rushing to work and it's just not necessary. And what would it look like for me to trust that space is rich and it's safe to slow down? Okay, so I'm gonna wrap with a few optional reflection questions in addition to the ones I've already offered. You can either pause, journal, or you can just let these questions kind of wash over you and just gently notice what you can feel in your body, notice what images come to mind, notice any words, any sounds? Let it seep in and trust that whatever is helpful and whatever is actionable will be made clear in time. First question. What has this first half of the year been teaching me? Or helping me to learn, helping me to see. What feels truer to me now than it did six months ago? Where have I been forcing pressuring out of fear? What is my body and my soul craving more of? And what would it look like to embody and anchor in more self-trust, more presence, more space in the days, weeks, and months ahead. So thank you for listening. If things feel messy and uncertain and uncomfortable in moments, you're not wrong. You're certainly not alone. See if you can keep touching into that ground where possibility is, where hope is, where trust is.