Not through force, pressure, or following a long list of ‘should’s.
But through the ongoing practice of returning to yourself. Knowing yourself. And allowing more of who you are to find expression in your life.
Join Rachael, meditation teacher and coach, for insights, explorations, and moments of presence to uncover what it means to create your life The Soft Way.
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
0:00
|
27:13
If life has been feeling intense… overwhelming… like a LOT is being asked of you right now. Well, this episode is for you!
In this conversation, I explore what it means to move through unsettling moments that feel like a 'baptism of fire'
Rather than trying to stomp it out, or simply endure it, we explore how to stay grounded within it… and how to work with the transformation that’s unfolding.
This is a gentle, grounded guide for navigating intensity with compassion, steadiness, and quiet inner strength.
✧ We explore
• How to stabilise and support yourself when things feel intense
• Using awareness to create space from thoughts, emotions, and reactions
• Turning toward your inner fire and moving forward with intention
✧ A question for you
If you’re in a moment that feels intense or challenging, you might gently ask:
What would it look like for me to stay grounded here?
And what is one small step forward I can take from where I am right now?
WORKING TOGETHER If you want a space to connect with more of who you are and move towards what lights you up, I offer 1:1 depth coaching. Find out more: https://www.rachaelebanksgold.com/working-together
* * *
If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating ❤️
How to do it...
⭐ On Apple Podcasts (iPhone/iPad): open the show page, scroll to the bottom, where it says Ratings & Reviews, and tap the stars.
⭐ On Spotify: open the show page and tap the ⭐ rating under the title.
Thank you!
SPEAKER_00
Your soul craves something more. Your heart wants joy, not busyness. You're done with all the shits and ready to reconnect with what truly nourishes you. Welcome, I'm Rachel, and this is the Soft Way Podcast. A space to quiet the noise, release the pressure, and listen to the voice within you that's always known your truth. Join me for soulful practical insights to help you ground into presence, connect with your higher self, and let this version of you lead your life with playfulness and gentle power. And without the pressure to figure it all out. Because you are supported. Life is with you. So come on home. Thank you so much for joining. So apologies, I'm a little bit late with the podcast this week, and my throat's a little bit not great, so bear with me today, because uh we have this thing over here called the Kalima, which basically is like a I don't know, brings dust and sand from the Sahara Desert, and the air is just kind of thick and very unhealthy, and so one does tend to notice respiratory bobber uh during this uh weather pattern. I hope that you are doing okay, that you're doing well, and I want to let you know that if life has been feeling like a lot lately, then you're not alone. I have certainly been feeling it myself, I'll tell you that. And as I was kind of gathering my thoughts about my own experience, the words that came to me were baptism of fire. That's how this feels. Maybe you can relate. So a baptism of fire is when we are enduring an intensely challenging situation or period of life, and at the same time something is happening. There might be this knowing that something is being changed within, or something is being birthed by this intensity, by this challenge. So it might be something new that's come up, or it might be something that has triggered many, many layers of old trauma. Maybe it feels like you're right back where you started. It might feel very intense, very overwhelming, maybe even unjust. So how do we move through it? How do we move through this fire without turning to ashes? How do we take this intensity and use it, shape it? So if I were to distill it down into two things, I would say ground and persist. But I'm gonna break this down even further. So I've got a few more thoughts that I'm gonna share with you over the course of this episode. And before I do that, I just want to reiterate that if you are going through something that feels really challenging, maybe something unexpected, or as I said, maybe something where you're just like, oh great, this again, then I just want to really highlight that you are not alone. And I think it's important to say this because it really does feel like that when we are in the thick of something, it feels so isolating, and the truth is that you're not alone, and also I want to say that this is a process, okay. So moving through the fire, surviving this, thriving beyond this, expanding beyond this is a process, it's not a pass or fail situation. Okay, so just bear that in mind as I share some of the insights that have been coming to me through my own baptism of fire. So I think before anything, what we are always invited to do when struggling is meeting ourselves where we're at with compassion. So before we get to our warrior phase, we gotta meet ourselves where we're at. So giving space to the fear, to the grief, to however you're feeling essentially. So slowing down being with yourself through this time without the intention to fix. That's really important and really tricky because that fixer is just so ready, ready to come in with the solutions and the problem solving, and so just allowing ourselves to notice that and drop it, notice it and drop it, and come back to space, feeling, allowing. Okay, so obviously, there are other steps, I have other things to suggest, but you'll know I think intuitively when you're ready to like move on to the next thing. I mean, what I'm laying out here is not necessarily linear, um, I'm presenting it in in a way that sort of feels logical, but you know, there's gonna be overlap, um, and there's things may you know you may go backwards in in some of the steps, but yeah, the point is like allowing the feelings, allowing the feelings, and then as you do that, you know, what kind of opens up is the ability to then get to the other things that I'm gonna talk about. I hope that makes sense. So, as I like to do, I will just invite you if you do have something present that's causing some bother, let's put it lightly. If you do have something that is present, then you can just pause here with me. Just take a moment, just a few seconds, to just notice what it is letting it be here. Maybe naming it softly. Uncertainty fatigue as you acknowledge it. You can also place a supportive hand somewhere on your body and just offer yourself a simple phrase Like it's okay to feel this It's okay to feel this So just being as patient with yourself with that first part as you can And the second thing you might want to consider is like what is something stabilizing that I can lean on? So there are things that stabilize us that help us to feel supported. So we're invited to do them to be with them to engage with them So things like a walk in nature Music Having a chat with someone that always whenever you speak to them they have this grounding energy Hanging out with your pets Okay so just a reminder that there is support for you in the simplest things and you're invited especially during this time to give yourself time to lean on those things even if it's just a few minutes. And the next point is about cultivating balance and composure within. So as things continue to unfold, this idea that we are staying composed or coming back to composure every time we get tangled up. So we can do this by using the internal stabiliser of awareness. So awareness of breath, awareness of body sensations, awareness of emotion. We can do that in a formal way in meditation or just outside of it. Ten seconds here, two minutes there during the day. And when it comes to composure and inner stability, something called disidentification can be really helpful. And that word is a bit heavy, it sounds a bit like um disowning and disallowing. It does have a kind of heaviness to it, but essentially disidentification is just remembering that we are not limited to the feelings, to the thoughts, to the situation, to our history, that these are things that we experience, these are things that we are aware of, these are things that ebb and flow, arise and then disintegrate, and that there is a self that is aware of and experiencing these things, and really that self that is aware is what we are, not the little moving parts, and this really can help us to not get consumed by our feelings or by those inner narratives. I see it as like taking a break from the personal, just kind of expanding our sense of self through realizing this thing, this situation, these feelings are things that I'm aware of, they are not me. Okay, and interestingly, the more we can do that, the more actually we are willing to feel those emotions or to tolerate those situations. You know, there's this space where we we have the capacity, whereas if we are those things, or if we are this small self that is that's vulnerable and that things are happening to our tolerance just goes down. And as I was jotting down ideas for this episode, I decided I was just kind of in a playful mood, and I thought I'm just gonna pull a card from my tarot card deck, and what came up was the temperance card, and it's this beautiful picture of this like cat who looks like they're meditating, um, they're in front of a stream, and the card says temperance patiently watches over the continuous flow of events. So temperance is in a way it's about moderation, so not kind of falling into extremes. There's a sense of being balanced. Okay, so as we watch the continuous flow of events from this place of not being identified with our thoughts and feelings and the events, but being this observer, this is a reminder that we get to choose. So our circumstances will trigger us, because we're human, that's just what's going to happen. But just remembering that we don't have to stay in the reaction, we can notice it, and we can gently shift our perspective back to the part of us that's observing what's happening. This is powerful, you know, even brief moments of neutrality, of mindful observation can help us to avoid extremes. Can help us to stop the spiral, can help us respond from a more grounded place. So again and again coming back to that observer helps us to step out of what's happening. To not be so caught in it. And from there there's more space. More space for tolerance, for acceptance, for balance, more space to return. To that quiet inner voice. That intuitive part of us that knows that just knows whatever it is that we feel we we need to know. So we've spoken about grounding, okay, essentially how we can soothe the burn of the fire. But this isn't just about coping. When we're going through a baptism of fire, fire transforms everything in its path. There's an opportunity here to come back to your own inner fire. So the question becomes how are you going to step forward? What within you wants to come alive as you face this? Is it courage, determination, faith? Remembering that we don't have to be completely free of fear or overwhelm to access these qualities. And in fact, there's something quite powerful, something quite enlivening about holding both polarities. So being aware of the scared part whilst also aware of the part that's stable, incapable, unwilling. The warrior. So there's this opportunity to activate something within you. So just being curious about what that is. And also I'm reminded that this is the year of the fire horse. There's a sense of momentum building, something that wants to move through us, and not something that we have to force, but a life force within, you know, call it soul or self or higher self, but there's this part of you that's been here since forever, that has been guiding you, that has been journeying with you toward meaning and growth and authenticity. And you can connect to this part. It might be helpful to ask things like what feels meaningful to me right now what still wants to be birthed through me. And then gently begin to orient your mind and your actions in that direction. You know, so we get knocked off by that initial blow, that initial contact with the fire, and we can kind of lose our orientation or maybe get distracted by all the stories in our minds, but there is something within us that is guiding us. And what if this experience, this challenge, this intensity was actually a chance for that part to be even more expressed? So almost at the close here, final point that I have, and it's about having fun, it's about play. Okay, and that actually it's important that we step out of the seriousness. So sometimes it can feel inappropriate, like this isn't the time to be playful or silly or to even smile. These moments of lightness, of joy, they don't minimize what you're going through, but they actually support you in moving through this. They help our system reset, reduce the stress hormone, and allow those feel-good chemicals like dopamine and endorphins to to lift us up. Okay, so let yourself laugh if it comes. Let yourself be a bit silly 'cause that's just as much human as grief and anxiety and whatever else. You know, it's all real. You deserve some lightness, let's be honest. You do. So two other things have just kind of come into my mind before we closed. The first one is Remembering also that things are so transient, like they can feel so solid, but they are so transient, like it's almost like something is there, and before you have time to complain about it, it's already going, you know, it's already almost gone, kind of thing. So just remembering that, like that things are moving, things are shifting, nothing, nothing, nothing stays the same. If it feels like that, it's just an illusion. Not to say that your feelings aren't valid, but it's an illusion, like things are changing all the time. That is the only constant. So I feel like that can help with the bringing in some lightness and you know that sense of balance, of inner balance by just recognizing that. Take a moment to appreciate yourself. Like I'm proud of you, and I am proud of you, because I know, I know that you are a fighter, you are a warrior, you've endured some stuff, and you haven't abandoned yourself, like you have not abandoned yourself, you're still here, you're still asking questions, you're still creating space to feel you're still saying yes to something within you that's guiding you, that feels good despite the innumerable things that you could look at that don't look good. So I'm proud of you. And I invite you to just take a moment multiple times during the day to just let yourself know that you are proud of you. It's no small thing. Like taking care of yourself is huge. It is huge. So as we come to a close, again, the two things that we're invited to do to move through the fire, to not get consumed by it, and to maybe even transform something through this, is to ground and persist. So grounding in compassion, in meeting yourself where you are, grounding through whatever it is that supports you that you can lean on in your environment, grounding in awareness, so being that observing presence, coming back to that, back to that sense of balance and neutrality again and again. And then persist not by forcing, but by staying connected to that fire that's within you, that's never left you. And allowing that gentle momentum to move you forward. And also letting yourself be human. It's okay to laugh. And remember you don't have to get through seven layers of difficulty. It's just about being here right now in this moment. And then the next. Staying connected to yourself as you move through it. So I'll leave you with a final question. What would it look like for me to stay grounded and to take one small step forward from where I am right now. Alrighty, so that's all I have for today. I hope that was helpful and I just want to reiterate you're not alone, and you should be proud of yourself. Look forward to connecting next week. Bye.
